party lights, i see the party lights
Fuck this weekend. I was sick for two weeks, stupid swine flu. So, when I felt better on Friday, I went out to party. I had been four weeks without any alcohol, it was about time. Frankly, I got really really drunk. Both days, Friday and Saturday. Friday was okay, nothing big happened. Well how could I know, can’t remember anything. But I think I had fun, you see, when I woke up Saturday, first thing I saw was our front door. I’m guessing I came home, opened the front door, came inside, started to took my shoes off and apparently fell asleep.
Saturday. I woke up first time at nine. Stumbled to my own room and fell back asleep. Then woke up at 4.15 P.M. I had 14 missed calls, 4 from Janina, 5 from Jesse, 3 from Leevi and two from Sami. Also one txt message from Jesse, saying to call me when I get it. So I called and it went like “hi, how are you? i’m okay, nothing big. Okay, bye.” So, Jesse was the weekend at his parent’s, so I kinda didn’t have to worry that he would somehow know about me being drunk as a skunk.
Around six p.m I was drunk, again. Everything is such a blur from ten p.m. I had no image Sunday morning what I had done last night, but thanks to all my friends I was quickly updated about everything I had done. So, around 3 am I had called to my boyfriend. He doesn’t like at all that I party so much. And actually, since I started to date him, I haven’t drink that much and haven’t been as drunk that I would lose my memory. Except for now. I wasn’t informed about our converstation on the phone, but it didn’t last long. I read my text messages from that night and there was some messages that cleared something out a bit.
you don’t own me. i can do whatever i want cause i don’t care one a bit what you think about it
i know that. but you can’t go to your old ways everytime i’m out of town.
what fucking old ways?
drink and party like there’s no tomorrow.
well you never know if there really even isn’t tomorrow. ugh whatever. i’m done. don’t call me, text me, anything. i kinda hate you right now.
fine. let’s talk when you’re sober.
Yeah, i don’t even know why I said I kinda hate him right now, cause he didn’t say anything, but that’s just me. He’s kinda trying to chance who I am and I won’t let that happen. Around 6 am, before I went to sleep, I had texted him, telling how I don’t know if I even like him and how I still miss&love my ex boyfriend, which is true, and that he wouldn’t be such a bitch about me partying and that he wouldn’t even care. His answer was that maybe we should then take a break and that I should clear my problems. And I got soo mad about him saying I had problems, and sent him a pretty horrible message back. So now I’m not so sure if I still have boyfriend or not.
Yesterday my hangover was such a hell and I decided to get drunk again. I was almost 72 hours drunk. And yesterday was Big Brother talk show where I had tickets and of course I went there though I wasn’t feeling so good, but I said that I would be there when Toni gets eliminated and I was. And because yesterday’s drinking, I wasn’t at school today. Tomorrow I need to go or my mom won’t ever again leave me with Leevi alone.
Some people may say I have problems with drinking or that I’m some kind of alcoholic, but they’re wrong. I can stop drinking on time and I don’t have to drink every weekend, but I’m young and I do what I want. That’s just me. Say what you want, I don’t care.